Let’s talk about play! To be specific, Play Therapy is one of the most effective ways to help children (and even some adults) work through emotional and behavioral challenges. As a therapist (and a mom and grandma), I am consistently amazed by how much playing can tell us about a child’s inner world – and how it can help them overcome difficulties without feeling like “therapy” at all.
Why Play?
For children, play is natural. It’s how they explore the world, communicate, and make sense of things. Think about it: kids aren’t miniature adults; their brains are still developing, especially the language and abstract reasoning parts. Asking a 6-year-old, “How do you feel about your parents’ divorce?” may get you a blank stare or a shrug. But if you hand that same child a dollhouse and figurines, you might soon witness the child acting out a scene of parents arguing and a child hiding under the bed. That’s play revealing feelings. In play, children feel safe to express ideas and emotions they might not share directly.
Play Therapy operates on the idea that toys are like the child’s words, and play is the child’s language. It gives kids a comfortable, engaging way to show us what’s bothering them, reenact experiences, learn new skills, and ultimately heal. And trust me, kids often love coming to play therapy – it’s probably the only therapy where hearing laughter and giggles is a good sign that progress is happening!
What is Play Therapy?
Play Therapy is a structured, theoretically based approach to therapy that builds on the normal communicative and learning processes of children. It’s not just “playing games with a therapist” (though it might look like that to an observer). A trained play therapist strategically observes and participates in play to help the child address and resolve their problems. There are different types of play therapy – some are nondirective (child leads the play and chooses what to do; the therapist follows and provides a safe presence) and some are more directive (therapist introduces specific activities or themes, especially if we’re working on a particular skill or trauma). Often, we do a bit of both as needed.
What Issues Can Play Therapy Help With?
So many! Here are some common ones we see at A Healing Place:
Big Life Changes: Divorce, moving, the arrival of a new sibling, or loss of a loved one. Children often act out or regress (like toileting accidents or baby talk) because they can’t fully verbalize their confusion or sadness. Play therapy lets them process these changes. For example, a child whose parents are divorcing might use two puppets to “argue” and then have a doll hide – acting out how scary it is. Through play, the therapist can help the child express fears and reassure them it’s not their fault, etc., in a way the child understands.
Trauma and Abuse: As heavy as these topics are, play therapy can gently approach them. A child who experienced abuse may re-enact scenarios with dolls – sometimes changing the ending to what they wish, sometimes showing themes of rescue or anger. This can be akin to the “trauma narrative” in TF-CBT, but in a nonverbal medium for kids It externalizes the trauma so they can begin to make sense of it with the therapist’s supportive guidance.
Behavioral Issues and ADHD: Kids who struggle with impulse control, aggression, or hyperactivity often benefit from play therapy combined with techniques to improve self-regulation. We might use games to practice taking turns, following rules, expressing anger appropriately (like a game where you safely get to stomp “anger bubbles”). Play can be used to reinforce positive behaviors in a fun way (like earning pieces of a Mr. Potato Head for each time they use an “inside voice” or “gentle hands,” then celebrating the completed potato character).
Anxiety and Fears: Children have fears (dogs, dark, monsters, school, separation from parents, you name it!). Rather than just telling a child “it’ll be okay,” play therapy might help them gradually face and conquer fears. For instance, a child afraid to sleep alone might, in play, befriend a “stuffed animal monster” who then protects them from bad guys – symbolically flipping the fear. We might create a storybook together about a brave child overcoming worry, making the child the hero of their own story.
Social Skills and Self-Esteem: Through play (especially group play therapy or playdates coached by a therapist), kids can learn sharing, empathy, and confidence. A shy child might first express themselves freely with puppets, giving them a voice they didn’t show at school. A child who feels “bad” might, through the acceptance and success they experience in play, develop a healthier self-image.
What Does a Play Therapy Room Look Like?
Imagine a mini paradise for kids: shelves of toys – dolls, action figures, animals, puppets, a dollhouse, toy kitchen, art supplies, sand tray with mini figurines, maybe some costumes or masks, blocks, trucks, clay, and more. Each category of toy is chosen deliberately:
Family dolls/figures allow acting out family or social situations.
Aggressive toys (like toy soldiers, plastic swords, punching bag) give an outlet for anger and exploring power/control themes safely.
Nurturing toys (like dolls, stuffed animals, a doctor kit) let kids play out caretaking or roles of being cared for.
Creative materials (art stuff, clay) for nonverbal expression.
Sand tray therapy: a mini sandbox where kids can place tiny figures and create a world; great for subconscious themes to emerge.
And importantly, a trained therapist who creates a space of warmth, permissiveness (within safe limits), and respect. The child is allowed to play in almost any way they need to, and the therapist tracks the play (“I see you put the little boy figure alone in the corner… he looks sad”) and may gently interpret or just let the child lead to build trust. There are limits of course (no harming themselves or the therapist or breaking toys if possible), but even setting limits is a therapeutic opportunity – it teaches boundaries.
Parents in the Play Therapy Process:
Parents might wonder, “What is my kid doing in there? They just said they played, how is this helping?” It’s understandable to be curious. In many cases, especially with younger kids, I incorporate parents through periodic check-ins or even “filial therapy” (training parents to do child-centered play sessions at home one-on-one with the child). This can improve the parent-child bond and continue the healing outside the office. For example, I might coach a parent on how to do 30 minutes of special play time where they let the child lead and just reflect what they see, to boost the child’s confidence and connection.
Sometimes I do invite a parent into the playroom for part of a session, especially if we’re working on parent-child attachment or communication. But often, the therapy room is the child’s safe space to express things they might not if a parent was present (like anger at the parent, or scary stuff they worry might upset the parent). I always brief parents generally on progress: “We’ve been playing out a lot of superhero scenarios – I think he’s exploring themes of power and safety.” We maintain confidentiality for the child’s specific play themes to an extent, so the child feels the therapy is their space (with obvious limits if any safety concerns arise, then of course I’d break confidentiality to address it).
The Power of Metaphor:
In play, a child might never say “I’m anxious because you and daddy fight a lot.” But they might line up army men figures and have them battle fiercely, then show one small soldier hiding behind a block. That’s a metaphor! A skilled therapist might say, “That soldier is keeping himself safe while the others fight. I wonder if he’s feeling scared of all that fighting.” The child might respond, or might just continue playing – but you can bet they hear the validation. Over time, those metaphors can be gently connected to real life, depending on the child’s age and understanding. Or the healing happens indirectly – by resolving the play storyline, the child resolves their inner struggle.
Does Play Therapy Really Work?
Yes – there’s a solid base of research and anecdotal evidence that play therapy helps children improve across emotional, social, and academic areas. According to the Association for Play Therapy, it’s effective for a wide range of problems, and parents/teachers often report improvement in behavior and mood after therapy. It’s effective because it meets the child where they are. It doesn’t demand them to be little adults; it enters their world and heals from within that world.
I have seen nonverbal toddlers who experienced trauma use play therapy to learn to trust again; I’ve seen an 8-year-old boy with ADHD go from throwing chairs in class to proudly teaching his classmates a board game – because play therapy gave him patience, confidence, and a way to channel energy. I’ve had kids literally ask, “Can I keep coming here after I’m better? Because I like playing with you.” How great is that? They often don’t even realize the “work” they’re doing, but the changes show up in improved sleep, fewer tantrums, better grades, happier relationships.
For Older Kids and Teens:
You might wonder, at what age does play therapy stop? We often use play therapy techniques up to pre-teen years, adjusting as kids get older. For a 12-year-old, “play” might be more symbolic or creative – maybe more talk mixed with art or games that facilitate conversation. Teens sometimes roll eyes at puppets (understandably!), but even they appreciate less direct approaches – like using therapeutic games or having them draw their feelings, or role-playing situations. I’ve done “sand tray” work with teens and even adults – it’s essentially play for big people, using symbols to express complex stuff. So the spirit of play therapy (creative expression, indirect communication) very much continues into other forms of therapy for all ages. But for little ones especially, play therapy is the gold standard.
Encouraging Play at Home:
One takeaway for any parent reading: play with your kids. Not with an agenda, but just to enter their world. Give them 15-20 minutes of “special play time” where they lead and you follow (within reason). You may learn so much about what they think and feel, and you’ll be nurturing their emotional development. Resist the urge to quiz or teach during that time – just be present and enjoy. That in itself – a parent playing consistently with a child – can be therapeutic. We use this technique (often called Child-Parent Relationship Therapy or filial play) to strengthen bonds and build kids’ self-esteem.
Final Thoughts:
Play therapy is one of my passions because it aligns with a core belief: children have an innate capacity to heal. They often just need the right environment and tools. Play is both their expression and their medicine. It may look like toys and make-believe, but profound shifts can happen in that playroom sandbox or doll corner.
If your child is struggling and traditional talk therapy hasn’t clicked (or you know your child would never sit on a couch and chat for an hour), consider play therapy. We have play therapy services at our Neenah and Kenosha offices – our rooms are kid-approved! – and we’d be happy to answer any questions about how it works. Seeing a child find their courage, insight, and joy again through play is truly one of the most heartwarming parts of my job.
Blog written by:
Lisa Anderson
Owner of A Healing Place