Trigger Warning: This post discusses suicide. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please reach out to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988 in the U.S.) or seek professional help immediately.

September is National Suicide Prevention Month, with World Suicide Prevention Day on September 10th. It’s a heavy topic, one many people shy away from – but it’s also a reality that we need to talk about openly. As a therapist, I have worked with individuals who felt suicidal and with families affected by suicide loss. In this blog, I want to provide a basic “101” on suicide prevention: common warning signs, how to help someone who might be at risk, and resources that can save lives. My hope is that you’ll come away feeling more informed and empowered to act if you ever find yourself in the position to help.

Understanding the Scope:

Suicide is sadly more common than we think. It’s among the leading causes of death for young people, and rates have been rising in many groups. But it’s important to remember: suicidal thoughts are often a symptom of treatable conditions (like depression, trauma, extreme stress). People don’t truly want to die; they want to end their pain. With help, that intense pain can be alleviated, and suicidal thoughts can pass. I’ve seen clients go from hopelessness to finding meaning again. The key is that they got help and held on through the darkest moments.

Know the Warning Signs:

Sometimes, the signs are obvious; other times, they’re subtle. Here are some common red flags that someone might be considering suicide:

Talk of suicide: This can be direct (“I want to die,” “I’m going to kill myself”) or indirect (“I wish I could just disappear,” “I can’t do this anymore, I want it to end”).
Expressions of hopelessness or being a burden: e.g., “There’s no point in living,” “Everyone would be better off without me.”
Withdrawn behavior: Pulling away from friends, family, and activities they used to enjoy.
Dramatic mood changes: This could be a severe depression, or sometimes an unusual lift in mood after a long depression (which can indicate a decision to act on suicide, oddly enough).
Giving away possessions or settling affairs: They might start handing out prized items, or saying goodbye in a way that feels “final.”
Risky or self-destructive actions: Increased substance abuse, reckless driving, or self-harm behaviors.
Changes in sleeping or eating: Severe insomnia or oversleeping, loss of appetite or overeating – especially if tied to emotional despair.
Sudden calmness: If someone has been struggling and suddenly seems very calm or at peace, check in – it could mean they feel resolved because they’ve decided on suicide.

Not everyone shows all signs, and some people may hide their pain very well. Which brings me to an important point: sometimes suicide happens without anyone seeing it coming. So don’t blame yourself if you missed signs; instead, focus on what we can do now to support each other.

How to Help – Starting the Conversation:

If you suspect someone is suicidal or severely depressed, one of the hardest but most critical things you can do is ask them directly. There’s a myth that talking about suicide might “plant the idea” – this is NOT trueawarenessdays.com. In fact, most people feel relieved to have someone acknowledge their pain. You can start gently: “You’ve seemed really down lately, and I’m concerned. Sometimes when people feel like you do, they have thoughts of not wanting to live. Have you been having any thoughts like that?”

If they say yes:

Stay calm. It might internally freak you out, but try to speak calmly and compassionately.
Thank them for telling you. It’s a big deal that they opened up.
Ask if they have a plan or timeline. This can tell you how urgent the situation is (if they have a specific plan and means, that’s high risk and you shouldn’t leave them alone – seek emergency help).
Remove any obvious means if possible (if you’re in their environment and can safely take away firearms, pills, etc., do so).
Most importantly, do not leave them alone if the risk is imminent. Stay with them or ensure someone trustworthy does, until you can get professional help.
Help them connect to help immediately: call 988 or their therapist if they have one, or go to an ER if necessary. If they refuse, you might have to call emergency services on their behalf for a wellness check – it’s better to have them mad at you but alive.
Involve others as appropriate – do they have a spouse, parent, or someone they trust you can call together? Having support is crucial.

If they say no but you still sense something is off:

They might not be ready to admit it. Continue to show you care and are willing to listen anytime. “Okay, I’m really glad to hear that. I just ask that if that ever changes, you promise to tell me or someone you trust. You’re not alone, even when it feels like it.”
Check in on them more often over the next days/weeks. Knowing someone truly cares can be a protective factor.
Encourage them to seek help for whatever is troubling them (therapy, support group, talking to a doctor). Often suicidal ideation comes when problems feel overwhelming; getting help with those problems reduces the suicidal thoughts.

What to Say (and Not to Say):

When someone is in that dark place, your instinct might be to cheerlead them (“But you have so much to live for!”) or problem-solve (“Have you tried XYZ?”). While well-intentioned, certain responses can backfire. Here’s some guidance:

DO say: “I’m here for you. I may not fully understand what you’re going through, but I want to help.”
DO say: “You’re not alone and you are important to me.”
DO say: “It sounds like you’re really feeling hopeless. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.” (Validating their pain is important; they often feel nobody gets it.)
DON’T say: “That’s crazy to talk like that” or “Don’t be silly, your life’s not that bad.” (This dismisses their feelings and can shut them down.)
DON’T say: “Other people have it worse” or “Think of how hurt your family would be.” (They are likely already feeling guilt and worthlessness; this can compound shame.)
DON’T promise secrecy. If a friend says, “Don’t tell anyone, but I feel like ending it all,” you can’t keep that promise – you may need to get help. It’s better to have them upset than gone forever. Tell them, “I care too much about you to keep this a secret; we need to get help.”

Self-Care for the Helper:

Supporting someone suicidal is taxing. Make sure you have someone to talk to as well (a friend, counselor) because it’s a lot of emotional labor and fear. If it’s a family member, consider reaching out to support groups (like local NAMI chapters or online survivor support if there’s been an attempt). You can’t pour from an empty cup here either.

Resources and Hope:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Available 24/7 via call or text. They are trained counselors who can talk someone through a crisis or advise you how to help someone.
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741-741 to reach a crisis counselor via text.
Therapy: Encourage professional help. Therapists, especially those trained in crisis intervention or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), can be life-saving. Medication may also be needed if there’s underlying depression or anxiety – seeing a psychiatrist or primary doctor for an evaluation can help.
Safety Plan: If your loved one has suicidal ideation, help them develop a safety plan (many therapists do this). It’s a simple plan: warning signs, coping strategies they can do alone, people to contact who can help, and emergency steps (like call 988 or go to ER) if things progress. Writing this when they’re not in a peak crisis can guide them when they are.
Stay connected: Follow up after a crisis. Often people feel ashamed after admitting suicidal thoughts or after a hospital stay for an attempt. Continue to reach out with compassion: “I’m so glad you’re still here. How are you today?” Consistent care from others can be a protective factor.

For Loss Survivors: If you’re reading this and you’ve lost someone to suicide, my heart goes out to you. Please know it’s not your fault. Suicide is so complex – you can do “everything right” and sometimes still lose someone. Grieve at your own pace, seek support (support groups for suicide loss can be very healing), and consider counseling for yourself. Your loved one’s struggle is over, but yours is valid and deserving of care.

Conclusion: Suicide prevention is everyone’s business. You don’t have to be a therapist to lend a life-saving hand – you just have to be willing to talk, listen, and help someone get to the support they need. It can be scary to step into that role, but remember, your willingness to care can absolutely save a life. I’ve seen people turn the corner because a friend had the courage to have that hard conversation and got them to help.

During Suicide Prevention Month, let’s all take a moment to educate ourselves, check in on each other, and spread the message that help is available and suicide is not the answer – it’s the pain that needs to end, not the person’s life. There is hope, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment.

You are not alone. If you’re the one struggling as you read this, please hold on and reach out. The world is better with you in it, even if your mind is telling you otherwise right now.

Stay safe and take care. 💛

Blog written by:
Lisa Anderson
Owner of A Healing Place