As summer winds down, many families are preparing for the back-to-school transition. New classes, new routines, perhaps new schools – it’s a lot of change at once. As a therapist (and as a parent myself, if applicable), I know this time of year can bring mixed emotions. Kids might feel excited to see friends again, but also anxious about homework or fitting in. Parents might feel relieved for routine but also stressed about managing schedules or how their child will cope. This blog is all about addressing the mental health side of heading back to school, with practical tips for both parents and kids to make the transition smoother.
1. Acknowledge the Anxieties (for Both of You).
First off, it’s completely normal for both children and parents to feel some anxiety around the new school year. Kids might worry: “Will I like my teacher? Will I make friends? What if the work is too hard?” Parents might worry: “Will my child thrive or struggle? Can we handle the homework battles? Will they be safe?” Step one is to openly acknowledge these feelings. Have a candid talk with your child: “How are you feeling about school starting?” If they express worry, validate it – “I understand, starting a new grade can feel scary.” Share a bit of your own feelings in an age-appropriate way: “I get a little nervous too when things change, but I have some ideas that might help us.” By normalizing feelings, you show that it’s okay to talk about them and that you’re a team in facing them.
2. Re-establish Routines Early.
The lazy, hazy days of summer often mean later bedtimes or scattered meal times. A couple of weeks before school (which might be right now, in August), gradually shift back to “school hours.” Why is this a mental health tip? Because sleep and routine have a huge impact on mood and focus. A well-rested child (and parent) will handle first-day jitters and ongoing school stress much better than a tired one. So, move bedtime up by 15 minutes every few nights until you hit the school-night goal. Get the morning routine going too – maybe start with wake-up times closer to school time and practice the steps (getting dressed, eating breakfast) without the school rush so it’s familiar on day one. For younger kids, even a “dress rehearsal” of the first day (driving by the school, walking to the bus stop) can ease anxiety through familiarity.
3. Create a Calm Corner for Homework.
Homework can be a major stressor in the evenings. One way to ease that is set up a “homework station” that is as inviting and distraction-free as possible. It doesn’t need to be fancy – maybe the kitchen table or a desk in their room – but stock it with supplies (pencils, paper, good lighting). Have a little ritual: a healthy snack and a 5-minute break right before starting homework can help kids transition from playtime to focus time. During the first week, sit with your child during homework to offer support, then gradually give them more independence as they adjust. And remember, if frustration is running high (tears over math problems, etc.), it’s okay to take a short break. Step away, do some deep breaths together, then come back with clearer heads. For parents, I advise: don’t do the work for them, but be present as a guide – it shows you’re there to help them through challenges without taking over.
4. Stay Organized to Reduce Morning Mayhem.
Morning rush can cause stress that lingers all day. Some mental health magic lies in organization and planning. Together with your kids, do as much prep the night before as possible: pick out clothes, pack the backpack, prepare lunch or snacks. Create a visual checklist by the door (“Backpack? ✔️ Lunch? ✔️ Homework? ✔️”) – kids love checking things off and it teaches responsibility. When mornings run more smoothly, everyone (including you) starts the day on a calmer note, which can improve the whole day’s mood. If charts or planners help, use them – some kids find comfort in knowing exactly what to expect each day.
5. Watch for Signs of Stress or Bullying.
Once school starts, pay attention to changes in your child’s behavior. Are they unusually quiet after school? Do they complain of headaches or stomachaches frequently (which can be signs of anxiety)? Are they avoiding talking about their day? These could be clues that something’s off, whether it’s academic stress, social issues, or bullying. Gently ask open-ended questions: “Tell me about recess today” or “What was the hardest part of your day?” If you suspect bullying, take it seriously. Reassure your child that it’s not their fault and that you’ll help. Reach out to teachers or school counselors early – don’t wait. Addressing these issues promptly can prevent long-term self-esteem or anxiety problems.
6. Encourage Social Connection and Balance.
School isn’t just academics; it’s a whole social world. Help your child connect: maybe arrange a playdate or meet-up with a classmate before school starts so they see a familiar face on day one. Encourage involvement in an activity they enjoy (sports, art club, etc.) as it’s a great way to make friends with common interests. At the same time, ensure there’s balance – don’t overload the schedule with too many extracurriculars right off the bat. Kids (and teens) need downtime, just like adults do. Having one or two afternoons a week with nothing scheduled can be a buffer to prevent burnout. It’s during downtime that families can also reconnect – perhaps institute a tech-free family dinner or a weekly game night to stay bonded through the school year hustle.
7. Model a Positive Mindset about School.
Kids take cues from parents. If you talk about school as a drag or constantly express worry that they might fail, they’ll pick up that anxiety. I’m not saying to be fake-positive, but try to frame school as an opportunity: “I wonder what new things you’ll learn this year – I’m excited to hear about it.” Or, “It might be challenging at times, but I know you’re strong and can handle challenges. And I’m here to help if you need.” If you had your own difficult experiences in school, be mindful not to project those onto your child. Their experience can be different. Share encouragement, and when they encounter a problem (like a tough assignment or a friend issue), guide them in problem-solving rather than immediately stepping in to fix it. That builds their confidence.
8. Don’t Forget Parent Self-Care.
Back-to-school can dramatically change parents’ routines too – suddenly you’re a chauffeur, a homework helper, and juggling extracurricular schedules. It’s easy to let your own needs slide during this adjustment. Try not to. Maintain your exercise class if you have one, or your coffee with a friend, or whatever small self-care you normally do. If your days are now quieter with kids in school, use a bit of that time for something rejuvenating (even if it’s just sitting in silence for 10 minutes!). Lower your own stress by planning and asking for help – maybe carpool with other parents, or involve your partner in making dinners. The calmer and more collected you are, the more your child will feel they can rely on you as their steady rock. Plus, you’re modeling how to handle life transitions in a healthy way.
When to Seek Extra Help: Despite best efforts, some children (or parents) may struggle significantly with back-to-school. If you notice persistent anxiety (nightmares, constant worry, physical symptoms), depression (ongoing sadness, withdrawal), or significant behavioral changes (anger outbursts, decline in grades, school refusal), it might be time to seek extra support. School counselors, pediatricians, or a few sessions with a therapist can provide strategies tailored to your situation. Sometimes having that neutral third party for your child to talk to, or for you to brainstorm with, can make all the difference in navigating school stressors.
Back-to-school season is a fresh start – a mix of excitement and nerves. By proactively addressing the mental and emotional aspects, you can help set the tone for a positive year. Remember that no one handles change perfectly, and that’s okay. There will be good days and bad days. If you maintain open communication, provide support, and also encourage independence, you’re striking a healthy balance. Here’s to a school year filled with learning, growth, and as much laughter as possible!
Wishing all the students and parents a smooth and happy transition back to school. You’ve got this – and if you hit a bump, we’re here to help. 📚😊
Blog written by:
Lisa Anderson
Owner of A Healing Place