In this blog, I want to demystify Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and share how “changing your thoughts can change your life.”
What is CBT?
CBT is a form of therapy that zeroes in on the connection between our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The basic idea is simple but powerful: our thoughts greatly influence how we feel and what we do. If we can identify unhelpful thought patterns and reframe them, we can often alter our emotional responses and actions for the better. CBT is goal-oriented and practical. Instead of spending years dwelling on the past, CBT tends to focus on present challenges and finding solutions. It’s like mental coaching that teaches you skills for managing life’s hurdles.
How Negative Thoughts Take Hold:
We all have an inner dialogue running in our minds. Sometimes, that self-talk turns negative: “I’m not good enough,” “Things will never get better,” “I always mess up.” CBT calls these cognitive distortions – basically, mental traps or thought errors. For example, black-and-white thinking (“I failed this test, so I’m a total failure in life”) or catastrophizing (“If I make one mistake at work, I’ll get fired and everything will collapse”). Such thoughts are often exaggerated, biased, or just plain untrue, but when we believe them, our mood plummets. We might feel depressed, anxious, or defeated, and then we act accordingly (withdraw from others, avoid challenges, etc.). It can become a vicious cycle.
How CBT Helps:
In CBT, awareness is step one. A therapist will help you pause and notice those negative thoughts. It might feel weird at first – many of us aren’t used to analyzing our thinking. But imagine thoughts as passing clouds: you learn to observe them without immediately accepting them as fact. Once we identify a harmful thought (“I have no friends, nobody likes me”), we challenge it: Where’s the evidence? Is that really true, or just how I feel in the moment? Perhaps you do have friends, but lately schedules haven’t lined up, or you’re feeling lonely because you haven’t reached out. CBT gently confronts the thought distortions. Maybe the truth is, “I do have people who care about me, but I feel lonely right now.” That more balanced thought still acknowledges your feeling but opens the door to solutions (like texting a friend) instead of trapping you in despair.
Next, CBT introduces alternative thoughts and behaviors. If every time you think “I’m worthless” you then isolate and cry, CBT says let’s do an experiment: what if you treat that thought as a hypothesis, not a truth? Maybe you’ll reach out to a friend, or do an activity you usually enjoy, even if you don’t fully believe it’ll help. Often, the evidence from our own life disproves the negative belief. Your friend responds and is happy to hear from you – aha, you’re not as alone as you thought. You accomplish a small task – aha, you’re not incapable. Bit by bit, these small wins start chipping away at the negative core beliefs (“I am worthless” might slowly shift to “I have worth, even if I’m not perfect”). It’s incredibly rewarding to witness that transformation in clients – it’s like seeing a dark filter being removed from someone’s view of themselves and their world.
Why I Love CBT:
As a therapist, I love CBT because it’s collaborative and empowering. We’re not just talking about feelings (though that’s important too); we’re also problem-solving. It’s a bit like detective work – you and I team up to investigate your thought patterns and behaviors, then do “experiments” to see if changing them improves your mood. When you discover that by tweaking your perspective you can feel significantly better, it’s like discovering you had a toolkit inside you all along. I also appreciate that CBT can be short-term. Many clients see meaningful changes in a few months. It’s evidence-based, which means a lot of research backs up its effectiveness for issues like depression, anxiety, phobias, insomnia, and more.
Some CBT Techniques You Can Try:
Even outside of formal therapy, there are basic CBT-inspired exercises you might find helpful:
Thought Record: When you feel a strong negative emotion, jot down what triggered it and what were the automatic thoughts in your mind. Just writing it out can bring clarity (“No wonder I felt awful after that comment, I immediately told myself ‘they must think I’m stupid’”). Then challenge those thoughts – are they 100% true, or is there another way to view it?
Behavioral Activation: If you’re feeling low or stuck, plan a small activity that aligns with the mood you wish to have. Not in the mood to socialize? Schedule just a 30-minute coffee with a kind friend. Often our behavior can lead our mood (rather than the other way around). Doing positive activities, even if you’re not feeling it at first, can spark a change in how you feel.
Socratic Questioning: This is a fancy term for basically playing devil’s advocate with your negative thoughts. Ask yourself questions like, “What’s the evidence for this thought? Against it? Is there a more balanced way to see this situation? If my friend had this thought, what would I tell them?” We tend to be more compassionate and rational with others than ourselves – try extending that fairness to you.
When to Consider CBT (and How to Get Started):
If you find yourself caught in cycles of negative thinking, or repeating behaviors that aren’t serving you (like procrastination, avoidance, or even aggressive outbursts), CBT could be very useful. It’s not about someone else giving you advice or solutions – it’s about learning to become your own therapist in a way, by mastering these skills. That said, it helps a lot to learn CBT with a trained therapist initially. We can provide perspective, catch those thought distortions, and guide you through the process. Think of it like learning a new language – it’s easier with a teacher, and eventually you become fluent on your own.
At A Healing Place, many of our counselors (myself included) use CBT techniques in our sessions. We blend it with other approaches (because one size never fits all), but CBT’s core wisdom – that our thoughts are powerful – is a thread running through much of what we do. If you’re local here in Neenah or Kenosha and curious about CBT, we’d be happy to discuss how it might help in your situation. And if you’re reading this from afar, there are great self-help books on CBT, as well as therapists worldwide who specialize in it.
Final Thoughts:
I want to leave you with this empowering idea: you are not your thoughts. You have thoughts – thousands a day – but with practice, you can step back and guide them, rather than letting them control you. When you change the way you think, you truly can change the way you live. I’ve seen clients reclaim their lives from anxiety and depression by implementing the simple (not always easy, but simple) tools of CBT. It doesn’t mean life becomes perfect – but challenges become easier to manage when your mind isn’t fighting against you.
If you’re feeling stuck in negative thought patterns, consider giving CBT a try. It might just change your life, as it has for so many. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength. We all need a little cognitive re-framing now and then – even therapists do CBT on themselves, trust me!
Thank you for reading, and take good care. If you have questions about CBT or want to share your own experiences with it, I welcome you to reach out or comment. You have the power to change your story – one thought at a time.
Blog written by:
Lisa Anderson
Owner of A Healing Place