The Holiday Blues: Why High Expectations Can Lead to Disappointed

The holiday season is a time of joy, love, and cheer. But for some people, the holidays can be a tough time. There are high expectations surrounding the holiday season, and sometimes those expectations can lead to disappointment. This can be especially true if you're dealing with mental health issues like depression or anxiety. In this blog post, we'll explore how high expectations can affect mental health during the holidays and offer some tips on how to manage those expectations.

This time of year is when people are expected to be happy, festive, and full of cheer. But what happens when those expectations aren't met? Disappointment. And for people who are struggling with mental health issues like depression or anxiety, that disappointment can be even harder to deal with.

The pressure to have a "perfect" holiday season can be overwhelming. There's pressure to spend time with family, buy the perfect gifts, decorate the perfect tree, and so on. And if things don't go as planned, it can be easy to feel like you've failed. That sense of failure can lead to negative feelings and make it even harder to enjoy the holiday season.

So how can you manage your expectations and avoid being disappointed during the holidays? Here are a few tips:

  • Make a list of things that are important to you and try not to stress about the rest

  • Focus on quality over quantity when it comes to gift giving

  • Remember that your family is imperfect and that's okay

  • Take some time for yourself during the holidays and do things that make you happy

  • Talk to someone if you're feeling overwhelmed or down

The holiday season is a time for joy and happiness, but it can also be a time of stress and disappointment. By managing your expectations and taking care of yourself, you can make sure that the holidays are a happy and enjoyable time for you and your loved ones.

If you're feeling overwhelmed or down this holiday season, remember that you're not alone. Talk to someone if you need help managing your expectations or dealing with your emotions. And most importantly, focus on what's important to you and try not to stress about the rest. Wishing you all a happy and healthy holiday season!

Blog written by:
Lisa Anderson
Owner of A Healing Place

Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries can be scary; it can feel like you are a "bad” or “selfish” person. More realistically, it is just about standing up for yourself, which you have the right to do. I speak with many people who are doing things over the holidays that they feel they "should" do. I tell them, "you are 'should-ing' all over yourself." It's normal to have obligations you don't always want to do. However, if you're consistently putting yourself and your needs last to make everyone else happy, you might start feeling resentful, burnt out, sad, depressed, anxious, irritable, incapable, or like a disappointment.

Start setting boundaries with people in your life! This is likely to be difficult because people will not be used to your new boundaries. They may push back against you but remain firm in your resolve. You may feel guilty because you have been conditioned to think that way; however, there is absolutely no reason for you to feel bad for taking care of yourself. There is a reason why on airplanes they instruct you to put on your oxygen mask first and then your child's mask. If you're unconscious, you can't help your child. It's the same concept with self-care. If you're exhausted—physically, mentally, and emotionally—you won't be much good to anyone else either.

So say NO if you don't have time, the ability, or want to do it. Be direct, be consistent and be kind.

Here are some examples of direct statements that help set boundaries:

  • "Thank you for the invitation, but we are already busy on that date."

  • "I am unable to complete the task due to my workload currently."

  • "I would like more help around the home. We will be doing chores more equally."

  • "We have a smaller budget for the holidays this year, and I can't buy everyone gifts. Can we draw names instead?"

  • "I realize that in the past we have always come to your home, but I am in a relationship now, and my partner's family wants to see us also during the holidays. Here are some suggestions."

  • "Unfortunately, due to my current commitments, I cannot help with that project."

Set those boundaries and watch the stress begin to disappear! Happy boundary setting.

Blog written by:
Lisa Anderson
Owner of A Healing Place